i cannot express my feelings in a way that will suggest sanity because the very things that lead me to these thoughts defy reason.
why are we here, how did we get here? how and why would i move from this insurmountable place of pain.
i dont know what life means, i never have to be honest but now more than ever i am baffled. why them?
why did you take my star, shake it all about till you thought it lost its shine and then when you found out it couldnt be done, you killed it.
now i dont know what should be, how or why. can i scream? will it bring them back? will the sound of my screams make you realise that shattered, confused, bent, broken and battered and worst of all disillusioned.
what would i do with faith right now, what would i do with prayer? to who do i pray? it is not death alone i fear, i fear loss. i fear than i am not built to understand it. to withstand it.
its amazing that life moves on, in the same second that life is lost. no pause, no respect. no acknowledgement of what has been lost, how the world will never be the same.
i do not know how to do this but i must
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